Below zero.

I´m freezing like a shaved beagle. God damn it, it´s cold.
I dressed up in all my clothes and went out for a walk. But I didn´t get far.
When I closed the front door my hand froze stuck on to the doorknob, I tugged and pulled but the only outcome was pain.
Then I thought some heat will dissolve it, so I bent over, opened my mouth wide, and took some deep breaths. It only resulted in a thick layer of rime ice.
What options did I have, I needed to get loose. So I fumbled with my trousers, took out my penis and tried to pee on my hand.
My glasses were so full of frost, so it was not aiming right. I peed all over the place and everything froze up.
I was standing outside my locked door with one hand frozen on to the doorknob and the other frozen on the tiny icicles that previously were my penis.
The panic was spreading and I screamed for help, and when I screamed, I opened up my eyes wide and my eyeballs froze solid on to my glasses.
Total panic.
If the postman had not come I wouldn´t be sitting here today.
How will i survive this winter? Will it never end? Please give me hope, let me see some melting ice. Please, please please.

Superheropower. – To use hibernation as an alternative. And to practise some more on my poor english.